Thinky parts are meaty, and meaty is very, very good. We need to know what Dan's thinking and feeling right now for the story to have impact, which will make the ending even sweeter (if happy) or poignant (if not). You make the thinky parts and the headspace interesting, so don't feel bad about using that.
Unf, poor Dan, doing his duty but developing a numerous amount of fractures on the inside. Really liked the whole portion where he's turning Ror's (near-)death over and over again in his head, especially after our mini-thread about who really quit first. I didn't realize how much the death/near-death scene was a quitting too, ouch.
And seconding the favorable comments about the knight part. That's actually what made me miss Rorschach the most, because it's true. He's that brilliant, erratic piece who always has Dan's back.
What is the name of power for a man who isn't a man, for a mask without a face? so cool *_*
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Date: 2009-07-06 02:08 am (UTC)Thinky parts are meaty, and meaty is very, very good. We need to know what Dan's thinking and feeling right now for the story to have impact, which will make the ending even sweeter (if happy) or poignant (if not). You make the thinky parts and the headspace interesting, so don't feel bad about using that.
Unf, poor Dan, doing his duty but developing a numerous amount of fractures on the inside. Really liked the whole portion where he's turning Ror's (near-)death over and over again in his head, especially after our mini-thread about who really quit first. I didn't realize how much the death/near-death scene was a quitting too, ouch.
And seconding the favorable comments about the knight part. That's actually what made me miss Rorschach the most, because it's true. He's that brilliant, erratic piece who always has Dan's back.
What is the name of power for a man who isn't a man, for a mask without a face?
so cool *_*