This could be the saddest dusk I've ever seen

[etherati]

So, this last week was pretty godawful.

First, my parents lost another of the cats that I helped bottlefeed and hand-rear from two days old, back in 1998. Cancer, again, just like her brother. Their other brother is now the only one left. I can't say a lot about this part because I am still too devastated to process it.



Then a freak frost came through and completely destroyed my garden weeks too early. Just an annoyance, but god damn it.

Then I lost the musical bedrock of my life, which leaves me feeling strangely like... I don't know, like without a soundtrack, the rest of my life won't be as real as the first 31 years have been. There are certain things you expect will always be there, like the moon and the smell of newsprint on transit in the morning and the way the sky looks bruised and translucent after a storm, and REM was one of those things to me. They got me through more shitty things than I can count, and they told me that everything I was feeling had been felt and survived before, and they promised me that there was nothing wrong with me for being nostalgic and sentimental and for looking for all the lost and forgotten things, traced out in grainy black and white and framed by transistor radio static. It was okay to see things differently, to resonate with strangeness. Now I don't know if it still is.

Ugh. Damn it all.

I guess I just needed to get some of this laid out, here. Hopes for a better week coming up, please? :\

Comments

[sandoz-iscariot.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear about your cat. She looks like a beautiful girl. :(

[wednesday42.livejournal.com]

Aw, pretty girl. :( *hugs you* Thank you for sharing her with us; I hope things look up for you soon.

[tortoisegirl.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about the kitty; calicos are my favorite cats and she's very beautiful.

The REM news took me by surprise too, and it's a huge downer. The music is still there to be played and sung though, and it certainly doesn't change the message of the music. It's all still true.

[steals-thyme.livejournal.com]

*hugggsss*

She was beautiful. What was her name?

[brown-mousers.livejournal.com]

:( I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty, she looks like a complete sweetheart in the photo.

I was sure REM was pulling a prank when they announced they were breaking up; they can't *just* break up, not now. I think I'm still in denial.

Anyway, here's to a better week.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor sweetheart, both you and your adorable cat. I definitely didn't raise the cats I grew up with, but it hurt like hell to lose them and there are still times when I just sit and remember and miss them so much. But, y'know, I'm happy for the good memories and all that. I hope once the pain subsides a bit you can enjoy your memories too.

I haven't really lost a band that means a lot to me (yet), but I suppose it's not a very different feeling. As with the memories of your cat, the music REM's made isn't going anywhere and you can revisit it whenever you want. It's very sad they won't be making new material (barring a reunion, which I wouldn't call outside the realm of possibility), but that doesn't have to change the good things you get from their music.

Anyway, those are my two cents, such as they are. Let me know if you need to talk sometime, okay? *hugs*

[jackiemei.livejournal.com]

She really is a beautiful little cat. Thank you for sharing her with us. The world is a better place with sweet lives like hers passing through, fleeting as they are. I was sad about REM as well, my favorite band broke up this year too, (the white stripes) it is really difficult. Feels like a friendship gone by.